Saturday, December 25, 2010
Perhaps you think that’s a crazy question. Who would ask for something on someone else’s birthday? Hmmm? But that is just what this day is all about. It’s about inner reflection a searching of the heart. An appreciation of life, your life, my life. I’m not talking about earthly things, I speak of spiritual things.
Today is the ONLY day where one person shares His birthday with everyone ever in existence. That just blows my mind! Jesus wants very little from you but He wants to give YOU everything today.
So just ask! I’m pretty sure His Dad is in a good mood!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Dear Heavenly Father,
Another year has passed and I am reflecting back. As I pause I first think of all the wonderful things you have given me; life, health, family, friends, and employment. There are so many things I would like to thank you for. Most of all my faith!
I look back and I remember times where I felt I couldn’t make it and you helped me. Times where I was so devastated I thought of giving up but you encouraged me. Times where the darkness nearly consumed me but your smiling face lit my life. A time where my heart was so broken I didn’t think I could find all the pieces. But you sent Jesus; He held me and put the pieces back together. There were moments I was so lost I couldn’t find you, but you came and found me.
Father you have given me many gifts and you sent me to help others. I have watch people’s lives change this past year. I have defended them. I have stood face to face with Satan and I have watched evil run. I have witnessed countless demons being destroyed and light filling the eyes of many. I have watched souls that were lost in darkness find light within themselves. I have watched the weak in faith become strong. I have seen hopeless moments filled with love, understanding and hope was restored. All of this is not because of me but because of YOU!
My whole life I have pleaded with you that you would let me help you in some way so I could repay you for everything you have done for me. I’ll be honest Father when I gave you my free will I never thought it would be as it is. I never thought you would continually test my faith to the breaking point. I never thought I would see the things I have seen and live through every day. I never thought you would answer my prayer and let me come so close to you. I didn’t know you had such a wonderful sense of humor; you always make me laugh and bring a smile to my face.
YOU have made me who I am today. Because of all the things you have allowed me to see, experience and live through. Good and bad. And Father I would live through all of them again and not change one thing.
When I hear your voice YOU are beyond all my comprehension. The love I feel from you I can’t understand, the kindness you share I don’t fathom. The patience you have I will never understand. And every time I think I have figured you out you BLOW ME AWAY! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
The words “thank you” will never be enough. You really should have come up with more words for us to use because these just don’t do it for me…LOL! My life is yours and you can have it. HAPPY THANKSGIVING FATHER!!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
There are no sign posts, no compasses because we can’t see them for we are blinded by the darkness. We can hear people around us talking, crying, screaming for help but they can’t help us because they are in the same place we are. Life is decisions. Good and bad.
Time passes as years fade away and our heart continues to break. Hopelessness sets in and we try to accept who we are and what we’ve become. But we can’t. We are not happy with who we are. Every day we are in agony, tormented by the demons that influence us. They grab a hold of our soul and drag us kicking and screaming farther into the darkness. They tell us we can never get out. We are all alone. And there is no hope!
In the blackness of our despair we hear a faint voice say, “You are not alone! I will find you! I will fight for you!” Suddenly a light shines so bright that we are blinded by the warmth of it. A peace fills our heart as we watch the darkness flee in fear. The demons run in terror as they are destroyed. Our eyes regain their sight as we look up and standing in front of us is the Lord Jesus, behind him are our brothers and sisters.
THEY HAVE FOUND US!
He reaches down and picks us up as we stand the chains that have bound us fall to the ground and we are free.
Jesus smiles and says, “Do you know that these who stand behind me have been praying for you? They made similar choices in their lives and I found them as well. YOU ARE NEVER ALONE! In the darkest of nights if one were to look up they would always see at least one star. That shining star is hope. That shining star is Me!”
Sunday, October 24, 2010
I look inside my heart trying to find joy so that I can remember a time where I wasn’t in so much agony and pain. But I am lost. The word “suffering” doesn’t even come close to a word of explanation. This moment in time grows and grows and the days pass. I go beyond feeling sorry for myself and soon it feels as if the darkness that is all around me will start to splinter into pieces of rock that crumble down upon me and bury me like an avalanche. Friends and family try to give encouraging words but I can’t hear them because I have been buried alive.
I think to myself no one will ever understand what I fight through on a daily basis. What I really see and really feel. I can’t put into words the evil that surrounds me that I stand and fight against. I get to a point where I say I GIVE UP! I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE! I break down and find that I CAN finally cry! And with every agonizing wailing my heart breaks and shatters until I find I’m surrounded by so many broken pieces I don’t even know where to start trying to put this all back together.
An angel comes and tells me he is taking me to see the Lord God. I walk into this chamber and off in the distance I see Him sitting on His throne. There is a cloud in front of His face. He says, “Come to me”. I fall in front of Him sobbing. He picks me up and has me stand in front of Him and I wrap my arms around Him. He pulls me into His chest and says; “Just let it out”. And I break down even more. As He holds me the pain is drained from my heart. He picks me up and puts me on his lap and now I am the size of a five year old child. Though I can’t see His face I know what facial remarks He is making.
I look up at Him as He pats me on my chest and says; “My boy, you think your heart is shattered in piece on the floor, that it is broken but I am holding it together for you. I am so proud of you for how you have been handling all of these situations”. He leans in closer to me, smiles and says, “It is okay to be human.” I break down even more as he pulls my head closer into His chest. He says; “My boy you will never understand how much I love you! In time you will understand why I am putting you through all of this. Come, your Brother would like a hug from you as well.
I slide off God’s lap and walk in front of Jesus and kneel in front of Him. He says; “Please rise”. I stand as He wraps His arms around me and pulls me close and says; “Receive the peace from my heart”. I break down again. He says; “You will never understand the love my Father has for you. He tests that love. Even when your faith is shattered and you are holding onto it by a thread it is very strong. My Father tests you not that you may prove to Him how strong your faith is, but He tests you to PROVE to YOU how strong your faith is! All I can tell you is to be patient and hold on just a little longer. Receive the strength from my Father.”
Many people know me. Some may think that this is all a fantasy. It is not! I will be honest when I tell you that even though I felt like giving up I WILL NOT! Why? Because I won’t give Satan the pleasure of breaking me! I tell him all the time when I feel he is near. Satan I have three words for you. LAKE OF FIRE!
Never let Satan tell you that there is no hope, that God doesn’t love you and that you are alone. YOU ARE NEVER ALONE! And sooner than you think your faith will be confirmed and seen with your own two eyes! Stay strong.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
My brother and I were talking this morning. I was sharing some experiences of friends and people who know me that email, text and call me telling me the heartaches they face with everyday life. Some of them are pretty devastating.
As I was talking about these things I said to my brother, so often when everything is going well God is thanked, but when things go bad Satan is blamed. So the next thing out of my brother’s mouth was, “Good things God, bad things Satan?” I said thanks for inspiring me because I haven’t written in my blog since April because I have been so busy and didn’t feel inspired to write and here we are.
A lot people tell me that they would like to help the Lord and be a part of His plan. I usually smile and say, well then you need to pray and tell Him. And then not so long after that prayer, their lives seemed to fall apart and the peace they once had, seemed to be gone and then they started to question WHY?
For the past eight years the Lord has been putting me through the “fire” simply because I told Him I wanted to HELP Him with His plan. He has allowed things to happen to me that I wouldn’t wish on my own enemies! Would you like to know the answer to “WHY?” I think it’s pretty obvious. BECAUSE YOU TOLD HIM YOU WANTED TO HELP HIM! No, I’m not yelling at you I am just pointing out a fact.
At that moment in time when you told Him you wanted to help HE decided to “change” you into the person HE needs you to be to help Him. He is molding you even more than before.
We all seem to think that when something goes wrong in our lives it’s that Lousy Wiener boy Satan again! (Sorry that’s my pet name for him, well I also call him “CLUELESS”!) But is it really Satan? God is the one who “allows” him to do things to us. God is the one who says, YES or NO to everything! Satan really is powerless if you use your faith. Yep FAITH!
You told God you wanted to help Him, you want to be closer to Him, you want a personal relationship with Jesus but you want everything to be done the way YOU want it to be done. Sorry! In all my years of having faith in God HE has never answered my prayers the way I expected Him to answer them. BUT He has ALWAYS answered them and has done so with the right answer at the right time. That is a FACT in my life! Sometimes I tell Him that now He is just showing off! LOL!
So I would encourage everyone whose life is falling apart around them to have a little more faith in God. Ask Jesus to give you courage and smile because God heard your prayer!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
I have been asking the Good Lord these questions for years. People come into our lives, and there is an attraction. We start to talk with them, build a common bond and then we find we are dating. We give of ourselves and they do too. We enjoy each other’s company. After a while we feel that there is love and we give more of ourselves. But then expectations build and fall and we start to see “red flags” and then we ask the question; is this person right for me? So we give more and soon we feel we are losing ourselves because we give more than we receive back. Doubts creep in and the reality that this person can’t meet our needs fills our heart and soon we separate and we are once again alone.
Our heart is broken and we are devastated perhaps we feel we have wasted our time and wonder if we will ever love again. How could we have been so stupid!?
No one we ever meet in life is a waste of time. We learn new things from them, they learn new things from us and we find out what it is we really want, need and have to have in a relationship. No one plans on getting together with someone at the start and says; “I’m pretty sure I’m gonna break up with this person in four months and two weeks”. That’s just crazy!
NOW WHAT?! Turn to the Lord. Many times I have imagined myself sitting on God’s lap as He has held my head against his chest or standing in front of Jesus with His arms around me as I have poured my heart out, wailing at the top of my lungs; WHY? Life is a learning process and it has its ups and downs. There is a comfort that comes only from God and his Son. But are we willing to accept it? Are we willing to heal and let go of the hurt?
I have told the Lord many times; you may have created women BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO DATE THEM…oops did I just say that? Ladies please forgive me, us men are not much better are we? Oh take a deep breath and calm down.
There is someone out there for you. Do you realize how much work the Lord has to do in two people’s lives so that their paths cross? The timing has to be perfect! Both people have to be ready to see each other. Have you ever thought about that? Now I’m going to use a word that I hate. It is….PATIENCE!
If we trust the Lord, He will find us that person we seek, we need and that we can love for the rest of our existence. Just keep your faith, pray and be patient! (I really hate that word Lord!)
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Some people seem to think that everyone around them has the answers to their life. But they don’t. If you have ever sat and talked with a friend about a problem you were having did they just hand you the answer? Or was it awakened inside of you because you talked it out? Jesus said, “Ask and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you: (Matt 7:7).
Where do these answers come from? They come from our Heavenly Father. So often we bypass Him and we run to someone else for help. Why not stop and pray? Why not ask Him for help? Why can’t we be patient? Why do we always want a quick fix? Don’t you think God wants to help you? He is not some mean Being sitting on His throne reveling in your misery. He has the heart of a Father. But unless you ask Him for help He is not going to step in and interfere with your life. You have a free-will. You can choose to do whatever you want in your life and He will stand by and watch. Have you even given him a chance to answer you?
If there is one thing I have learned over my life time it is that He will never answer me the way I expect Him too. Sometimes He answers in such an abstract way that I almost don’t see it.
When was the last time you went to church? When was the last time you opened your heart to the Lord and poured it out? When was the last time you asked the Lord for help? It is never too late to ask.
So, JUST ASK!
Saturday, January 23, 2010
The heart is the one of the most important internal organs that we possess. When it stops working everything ends. With that being said, it is also no surprise that this organ holds so much meaning for us. It is from this organ that our life blood is pumped. It is also from this organ that we hold, accept and give love. We use phrases like; “You touch my heart” or “I feel you in my heart”. I have never heard anyone say; “I love you with all of my pancreas”. LOL! It just doesn’t hold the same meaning for us.
The Lord didn’t just put our heart anywhere; he put it in the center of our body. Why? It is the center of our life. So often we give our heart to someone because we feel a strong, lasting love we have never felt before. We feel at times that we can fly, and love could never feel sweeter than it does with this person right now. IT JUST FEELS RIGHT! And then suddenly this love seems to break, it crumbles and slowly what we were feeling disappears and leaves us with a huge hole in our heart.
We try to figure out what went wrong. We ask ourselves, was I just dreaming? Was any of this real? Did I make this all up? WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH!? And WILL I EVER HEAL AND LOVE AGAIN?!
Sometimes after we have experienced heart break we try to ignore what happened, we pretend that we are OK. We want to hurry up through the process and all we want is FOR THE PAIN TO GO AWAY!
Please consider this. Your heart is as fragile as a glass vase. It holds love. We can “see” the love we have for someone and in turn we can “see” into the heart of the one we love. When our heart breaks, it becomes shattered, and it falls into pieces. Instead of feeling whole we feel as if pieces of our heart are missing. At this point our heart looks just like a 1000 piece puzzle set. The pieces that are missing are the ones we gave away. How quickly can you put a 1000 piece puzzle together? One day, two days? Or does it take weeks, or maybe months?
The first thing we do when we put a puzzle together is we look for the corner pieces, don’t we? Faith in God is the first corner piece we look for. Prayer is the second corner piece. Forgiveness is the third corner piece and Patience is the fourth corner piece.
Everything takes time. Perhaps a broken heart is one of the longest healing processes I know. I have had many broken hearts, I tell myself never again! But I have learned that within every loving relationship I have had, and was almost destroyed by, taught me many lessons.
I have learned a lot about myself. What do I really want? What am I looking for, what do I need from someone? What am I willing to put up with? What am I willing to sacrifice for this person? And the most important thing I have learned is that I will never lose MYSELF to make someone else happy.
Every time we meet someone, or share life with someone, it is for a reason. We can learn something from them and in turn they learn something from us. It is never a waste of time and having regrets about past relationships is just plain STUPID! If you never take a chance you will never find the true one the Lord has for you. Life is a learning process. You stop learning when you are dead! Well, not really but that is an entirely new subject!
When we are alone and we are healing it is in those times that we CAN grow the most. We focus on ourselves and we find who we are. It is also in those times that the Good Father and His Son lend an ear and listen to us as we pour our broken heart out in front of them. You don’t have to put the pieces back together by yourself. Just ask them for HELP!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Sometimes we like to convince ourselves that we are powerless and that we are victims of our own life. PLEASE! REALLY?! You and I are in complete control of our life. Is it really someone else’s fault when we make our own plans? Who decided to schedule four soccer practices, two dance classes, Boy Scout and Girl Scout meetings all in one week? WE DID!
Suddenly we find that we don’t have any time on the weekend for God. We tell Him we are tired, we are exhausted and all we want is ONE DAY TO REST! And then we convince ourselves that HE will understand. Oh, He does. He is the only one that will always understand us. I’m pretty sure there are times where after I tell him I am so tired and worn out that I just don’t have time to do something for Him that He simply smiles and shakes His head.
But what happens over time? We stop talking to Him, we stop going to church to see and hear Him. We have no time to help anyone, including ourselves. Is this life that we currently are drowning in what God really intended for us to live in? Is our life supposed to feel like one never ending ball of stress and grief?
STOP, SLOW DOWN! Please take a look at your life. Can you make changes? Yes! Will you make changes? You get only one life to build a relationship with God and his Son. Your life should be filled with joy, peace, comfort and most of all love.
If these things are lacking then maybe it is time to STOP, DROP AND PRAY! Take a long look at the way you are living your life. Stop complicating it with so many things that God keeps getting forgotten and pushed to the “back seat” of your life.
Don’t be a victim of your life! You make all the decisions that affect you. You can change your life right now! There is still time to find the Lord, He is right where you left him the last time you spoke to him…in your heart, waiting for you!
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Currently there are a number of spirits that have a strangle hold on our world. The first is the spirit of FEAR! It comes to us very quietly; we almost don’t even know it is there. It comes when we are at our weakest and it whispers things in our ears and speaks directly into our heart causing hope to dissipate and joy to fade. Suddenly anguish grows with uncertainty and soon we are filled with fear. We pull back from life and go inside ourselves to hide.
The second spirit works in tandem with fear. He is called DEPRESSION. Over the past few years I have watch angels destroy demons and spirits, but these two spirits cannot be destroyed. When I asked why, I was told “because man must be tested!” There have been times in my life where both of these spirits played with me. Yes I use the word “played” because to them it is a game. The only reason Satan employs them is to cause us humans pain and unrest. And they have been around before time began so they are really good at what they do. But we under estimate them all the time.
There have been two times in my life where depression over took me. The last time was this past year. Depression works very quietly and methodically. When we become devastated by something in our life it strikes us to the core of our heart, and that is when he comes. He sneaks in, the first thing he does is he builds on the “hurt” and then he causes us to feel tired, we believe there is no hope in our current situation. We draw back from our friends and family because all we want to do is to be left alone. BUT WE ARE NOT ALONE!
Fear steps in and tells us there is no end to what we feel, depression backs him up and we start to fall deeper and deeper within ourselves to the point where we lose our joy and life becomes nothing to us. And then another spirit steps in, the spirit of SUICIDE.
All of these spirits are filled with deceit. They ALL lie to us, but Suicide is the biggest liar of them all. He tells us if we take our life it will get better and everything will change, but that is NOT what happens. When we take our life, we are taken to realm where all three of these spirits torment us for all eternity. And we have no physical body so we can’t walk away or ignore them any longer. Some would call this Hell!
I’ll be honest with you; I was on anti-depression medication for over a year the first time. But last year this fight with depression was worse than before and I didn’t want meds this time. I found myself driving to work one day and I began to break down and cry. I went to the Doctor and explained what had been happing to me, that all of a sudden I would just cry, I told him either I was ovulating or I was depressed. LOL! He said I was depressed and put me on a medication. The problem was I had some side effects this time.
This whole time I kept telling God, “YOU CAN FIX ME WITH ONE THOUGHT!” I prayed and prayed, and pleaded with Him all the time. And after only after a very short period of time I woke up one morning and said to myself you don’t need these meds anymore. And I was done with all of these spirits!
What allies do we have to help us fight these spirits off? FAITH! PRAYER! AND TRUST IN GOD! And knowing these SPIRITS are there to try and destroy us. We are not ignorant any longer as to what is around us. Spirits are REAL! If you are depressed go to your doctor, HE IS ANOTHER ALLY, and get medication to help yourself. You are NOT weak because you need meds. If you have side effects try another med. Depression goes deep into the brain's chemistry and these meds help US change the negative, defeated outlook we may have in our lives and it give us a fighting chance!
DON’T GIVE UP! YOU HOLD THE KEY TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE and God is there to help YOU, help YOURSELF! Keep fighting!