I’m standing now at the end of a grand disappointment. A promise given but not fulfilled. So many times an expectation is given and only then I find that it doesn’t come to fruition. It’s then I begin to question everything I know that lies within my heart and soul. I do not understand or appreciate the process that He puts me through and I ask at times why…WHY?!
I grow angry and I lash out
at Him in a fit of rage reminding Him of all I have done in His name and all
the lives that have changed because of my faithful service to Him. I remind Him of all the times I gave to Him
and the sacrifices I have made and yet there is no solace, no peace and hope is
almost gone.
Doubt comes crashing in on
me and sadness fills my being as I start to question EVERYTHING and then I hear the voice of an evil angel
say; “All you know is a lie! If He
really loved you would He really do this to you?” But I’m tired, distraught and weak as the
evil angel continues, “He
is never there for you when you are like this.
He cannot hear you, He has left you.
You should give up.”
I try to pull myself
together struggling to be strong. And
the evil voice still speaks; “You are lost and alone, He will never help
you. You are a failure no one loves you”.
I fall into the abyss that is my
life crying out, PLEASE ANSWER ME! But
again no reply. The evil angel continues
to speak and torment me until I grow angry at him and shout. YOU’RE A
COWARD! YOU PREY ON THE WEAK AND THE
SICK! He speaks; “Your faith is empty, you trust
Him and yet He never does what you ask of Him, what kind of God is like that? HE is a Faithful God? Please!”
My heart feels as if it
will burst out of my chest with the agony and pain of my disappointment. Hopelessness sets in and I think I have been
walled off from Him and He cannot even see me.
I’m left sitting in darkness as my pain and anger feed on the
disappointment as the evil angel feeds it to me. I’m worn out and close to giving in to what
he’s telling me. I break down and cry
out as loud as I can. FATHER I LOVE YOU
AND I WILL KEEP MY FAITH! I AM NOT
ALONE! I AM STRONGER THAN YOU ARE
SATAN! MY FATHER IS WITH ME RIGHT
NOW! I SHINE THE BRIGHTEST IN MY DARKEST
HOURS BECAUSE HE IS HOLDING ME! HE
ALWAYS KEEPS HIS WORD AND WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT HE WILL DELIVER TO ME ALL OF
HIS PROMISES!
I seek out this evil angel
and I find him hiding in my heart. I
grab him by the throat and hold him in front of me as this little being cowers
because the spirit in me is stronger than he.
I tell him; “You are but a pawn in my Father’s game. He is the one who moves the pieces within the
game of my life”. I stare him square in
the eye and ask him; “Why are you so silent?
Is it because you can see MY FAMILY standing behind me now?” I cast him out of my heart, turn and I am now
in the arms of my Father and Big Brother Jesus.
There are times in our
lives where WE have to turn and fight!
We are never alone! Don’t listen
to Satan; do not give into his words.
CONFRONT HIM AND HE MUST FLEE!
Our Father always teaches us that we are not weak or helpless. We’re
strong because we Love Him and He loves us!
There two things that are
yours and you truly posses; One is your free-will and the other is your faith.
BE STRONG! DO NOT GIVE UP! STAND AND FIGHT FOR YOUR FAITH BECAUSE THE
TIME IS SHORT AND IF YOU WANT TO GET INTO HEAVEN “THE VIOLENT SHALL TAKE IT BY
FORCE!”
I dedicate this article to
my two special friends who both fight terminal illnesses and have been told by
their doctor’s that they have months to live.
These two are not done fighting!
Jennifer
Sprengell and Susan Blackport - KEEP FIGHTING!
